Real life, Real nurse

Not only did I want to tell hospitals, managers, charge nurses, etc. how to make the transition for accepting travelers much easier- I wanted to add this guide for nurses who may be traveling, or want to travel in the future. These are tips and tricks I have learned along the way, either myself personally or hearing other travel nurses and what they have experienced.

• Research multiple agencies. Many agencies offer many different options. You want to find a recruiter who listens to you and is proactive. Some agencies have specific contracts with particular hospitals or healthcare organizations. Some agencies reimburse you less for travel, but give you great stipends. You have to look at the big picture here and see what they have to offer you, and it has to mesh with what you’re looking for or else you’re not going to be satisfied and therefore want to give up. Some people travel solely for the money so they look for places that offer extremely high pay rates, but may get placed in a less than ideal location with nothing to do but work (hello overtime rates!!). Some people travel for the location and/or the experience it will provide them. You have to know your reason why.
• Research the hospital. Health grades, Yelp, CMS, all these organizations have ratings on health care facilities. Go on the hospital website and actually read their mission statement (yes, I do this for ALL my assignments) to see if they match your beliefs. Look at their acuity- are they a level one trauma, or do they have to med flight out anything complicated, do they have a NICU (for my OB peeps). Is it a teaching hospital? Or is it a small community hospital? Do these findings coincide with your level of comfort/expertise? Find out as much as you can before an interview so you can feel confident that this place would be a good fit for you.
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions during the interview! This is your time to be sure this facility is going to be a good fit for you, don’t hold back. If there is something you’re unsure of or need clarification-NOW is the time to do it, not when you show up, a week into your contract and things aren’t going quite like you had hoped. For my first assignment, my recruiter emailed me an interview tip sheet with a bunch of great questions which I have kept and still utilize, of course adding a few along the way.
• Ask other travelers for their advice or input. We all know the world of nursing (and healthcare in general) is a very small, tight nit community. Well, the world of travelers is even smaller, believe it or not. Everybody knows everybody or has worked with someone somewhere along the road and paths cross all the time (so be nice!). Reach out to people and ask them their opinion on different locations, different hospitals, recruiters. Trust me, they will tell you the absolute truth. We all take care of each other and don’t want to see someone have a bad experience if we have had one, so we try to stop it before it happens by letting you know. Now, with that being said- take advice with a grain of salt. Some people have very strong opinions, or very strong personalities and may have simply just not gotten along at certain places for what ever reason. It may be cultural, regional, social status, whatever… So bare that in mind when taking advice.
• Realize sooner rather than later you’re not there to change the world. You are there as a contract worker- plain and simple. You are there to show up to work on time, do your job (and hopefully do it well), and go home. You are not required to go to staff meetings, or practice counsels or participate in any of the political goings-on of that unit. Which to most is a BEAUTIFUL thing that your only obligation lies within your contract. To others, this can be a challenge because we want to be those agents for change and pass on great things we have experienced along our roads- but most of the time there are a multitude of constraints that forbid us from doing so. This was one of my many challenges when I first started. I wanted to bring all this evidenced-based, baby-friendly practice to the table and come in and change the entire unit. I slowly realized that I had to pick my battles, and as long as their practice wasn’t hurting anyone, I could not re-build Rome in a matter of 13 weeks. I also very quickly had to learn that not every hospital does things the same way. In fact all of them do a lot of things very differently. I was finding myself saying “Well, in Boston, we do this; and in Seattle, they did that..” and I got a lot of snarky replies “well, you’re not in Boston, or Seattle so….” And I had to figure out a way to hold back or at least change my approach to a more positive one to suggest change base rather than seemingly shame a place for doing something so out of left field.
• Look for potential housing before you sign a contract. Look at rent prices, make sure your proposed stipend will cover it. Know whether you want a shared space, or a private space. A lot of travelers are awesome to live with because they make great adventure partners, and they are generally just good people.
• Pack Lightly. If you are going to go to Hawaii for example, you are not going to need ski gear, but you will need swimsuits and flip flops. On the flip side- if you’re going to Montana in January- you will need every article of clothing you own to wear at once! ha ha, I joke (sort of), but you get my point. Don’t waste time, or car space packing things that you are probably never going to use, because if you are thinking you won’t need it, chances are you won’t.

• Find things to do on your days off. Trip advisor, Zigats, Yelp- they all have great things to do, places to eat, drink, and be merry! You’re probably only going to be in that area once in your life, so you might as well maximize your experience. Don’t be afraid to go alone either! Probably 85% of the time you are on your own and won’t have a companion to tag along, so be bold and be brave or else you will miss out on something amazing. THAT, my friends, I can promise you!
• Be confident in your skill and your ability to do your job. Sometimes you will be tested and know that YOU’VE GOT THIS!! You were hired for a reason, and your skill and knowledge will carry you for miles.
• Don’t be overly confident. Wait, what?! Yes, know that you’ve got this because you are amazing, but never be too humble to ask a question or speak up if you are unsure of something. Remember safety is number 1 and if you are uncomfortable- speak up! It’s ok! No one will EVER fault you for clarifying or trying to learn something new- and if they do- amongst other choice words I may speak at another time, shame on them.
• Be willing to go with the flow– It is very hard to adjust to a new facility, new staff, new demographics, etc. The list goes on and on. Usually, we had to adjust to this every 13 weeks (3+ months), so it gets a little head-spinning. Sometimes, you have to just work with what you got.

These are the main points I could come up with. Feel free to add and share as you come across other experiences.

I have been to a few hospitals across the country, and I have spoken to many travel nurses who feel the same way I do! There are so many things hospitals could do to help the transition for travelers and make the assignment much smoother, and maybe even retain travelers for longer contracts. I have compiled a list for healthcare facilities, managers, whoever, to help. I would love feedback and to add to this list as the years go on, so please feel free to add comments!!

1.) Make sure your nurse has a contact person (manager, educator, HR representative, the Pope). It doesn’t really matter who it is, but the nurse should have SOMEONE’s contact information from that facility in case there are questions that arise, that person can act as a guide or liaison to direct them to the answers they are seeking.

2.) On the first day of orientation (or on-boarding), make sure your nurse has access to the ALL THE THINGS- the EMR system, Pyxis (or other medication dispenser), glucometers, and their badge has swipe access to units or closets they need to be in. I mean, make sure they can actually log, scan, fingerprint, or badge in. Not this “oh well, I contacted pharmacy, or lab, or IT…and you should have access in your email…or security will fix your badge when the guy comes back from vacation in a week” ummm, NO. Sit with them or walk through the unit, and go through all those places, and pieces of equipment and don’t let them leave until they have all the access available to do their job efficiently. I cannot stress how frustrating it is, to go to grab a blood sugar on a baby who is crashing and you cannot scan into a glucometer machine, or the staff send you to Pyxis to grab a med for a mom who is bleeding, and you don’t have the access. That is precious time to save a person’s life, and it is stressful and frustrating to not only the traveler, but to the staff as well.

3.) Give them a preceptor who has worked with travelers before and knows that travelers have experience, and only need to know how that particular facility does things. It should be a staff who can feel comfortable just observing you caring for patients and serve as a resource if you have questions. You have 3 shifts of orientation (if you’re lucky), so you need to hit the ground running. You cannot have a nurse who “doesn’t trust you because she doesn’t know you” or treats you like a new grad, so you end up having a bazillion questions after orientation leaving you like a fish out of water.

4.) Be nice, and introduce yourself- we come to your facility, often not knowing a single soul. We are away from all of our family and friends. Being able to at least know the names of the people we work with, makes things a little easier. I am not saying invite us out on a Saturday with your friends, but just a simple “hey, are you new here? I’m (insert name here), I’m an (RN, tech, charge nurse, housekeeper..)” is sufficient.

5.) Do not judge based on tattoos or purple hair(or other physical appearances. This is the 21st century, and we travelers live very different lifestyles from most (like gypsies, hence #gypsynurse), and often enjoy piercings, tattoos and fun hair. Remember that this ABSOLUTELY does not inhibit our abilities to care for our patients. In fact, I have found my patients relate to me much better and feel comfortable with me because I am more “down to earth” or “on their level” and they feel as though they can trust me. In fact, I have more cards, gifts, notes etc. from patients who have thanked me for my care then some nurses who follow the dress code. (so there! :P) Also, keep in mind, that we are here as temporary agents, so if it bothers you, for whatever ridiculous reason- we will be gone before it becomes an issue. Also, keep in mind, that when you confront a traveler about such things- it can be VERY hurtful and seem “judgey”, that you look down on them for that particular reason. No one wants to work in a place in which they feel they are being judged based on something so superficial.

6.) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make our schedule reasonable!!! We are travelers for a reason- we love to explore. So when we work every other day (especially as a night shift nurse), it is impossible to get out and explore our new surrounds, therefore making us resent this assignment. It is much more conducive to our lifestyle if we work multiple days in a row and have multiple days off. Also, don’t put us on every weekend, or holiday! That is just not nice. We are all ok with the every-other or every- third weekend, as this is usually a standard. I have literally been told “well, we put you on every weekend because you’re agency and the staff doesn’t want to work weekends.” UHH, WHAT?! So, what do you do when I’m not around? someone’s gotta work the weekends, it’s the hospital for God’s sake- it runs 24/7. Thats what you signed up for when you chose to work here! Do not dump the crappy schedule shifts on us, or we will leave.

6A) DO NOT PUT US ON THE SCHEDULE THE LAST DAY OF OUR CONTRACT!!!! This is literally the worst, because most of the time we have to be out of our housing on this day, and trying to leave a house when you have to work 7pm that night is quite honestly the shittiest of situations to be in.

7.) Use us for our strengths, not to highlight our weakness. Some nurses have told horror stories of how they get stuck with the worst or most challenging patient assignments all the time. In most cases, this is the staff way of “testing” us to see if we can handle it, and of course we can because we are rock stars, but you are only making your lives more complicated because the heavier the patient assignment, the more involved they are, the more questions we ask and have to chase you down to help us. Instead of us being 100% independent and going about our business (which is what we are intended to do) we slow down the progress of the unit by struggling as opposed to a staff nurse who knows the rules of the road (polices, procedures, who to call for what reason, etc).

Also, if I tell you that I have experience with psych patients (for example), or enjoy taking those type of patients, why do you torture your staff??? Give me what I’m asking for!!! Or, if I tell you I am not very familiar with a type of medication, or piece of medical equipment- teach me about it, or let me ask questions of the more experienced nurse caring for that patient before you throw me into that assignment to leave me scrambling. Yes its a learning experience, and I love learning new things, but I want to learn the RIGHT WAY the first time.

These were the main points that I could think of (along with some of my fellow gypsy nurses who have helped me). The take home point should be “be nice to us, or we won’t extend and you’ll be left searching for more people to help you. If you are nice to us, we will stay and help you as long as we can”.

I have mentioned on here before that I never thought I could fully love someone again after the heartbreak I have been through and the personal struggles with my divorce I have had to overcome. I thought I was going to be a single girl forever, and I had come to terms with that, and was ok with the way my life was going. I was dating guys but nothing too serious. It was actually pretty great. I had learned how to become completely, 100 percent independent. I had learned how to never rely on anyone every again.

Well, little did I know that my life would change one night while scrolling through an online dating app. Ya know, the ones where you swipe right, or swipe left and pick your matches solely based off appearance or how adventurous the profile picture is? Yeah, one of those apps. So anyway, I was swiping, swiping, swiping, and came across this guy- bald head, trim beard, amazing smile, rose-colored cheeks. He was so handsome! Not the kind of man I usually go after, but handsome nonetheless. WE MATCHED! So we got to talking. His name is Nick. He is originally from Michigan, works 2 jobs and has a daughter. He is able to keep up a solid conversation and he’s pretty funny. He was living in Waikaloa village, about an hour and 15 min from Hilo. I was willing to work with that as long as it didn’t interfere with my gym life or my sleeping. We chatted for a few weeks and I was starting to wonder if this conversation back and forth was going to go anywhere, and it just so happened that I was getting ready to fly home for a visit in July when he asked me out on a date, so we had to wait another week, but we maintained our chat while I was away.

I believe we went out the Friday or Saturday night after I returned back in Hawaii. There’s this little pizza shop in Waimea called “Underground Pizza”. A man from Boston and a man from NYC moved to Hawaii and now make amazing pizza in paradise. The restaurant allows you to bring your own drinks, so Nick brought a bottle of wine, and we sat and had pizza and wine and great conversation. Once we were full on pizza and the wine was gone, we decided to drive down the street to the Big Island Brewhaus and have a beer to continue the conversation.

When we left the Brewhaus, I was a little confused actually. We hugged each other, but no first date kiss, no fireworks, no sparks. “Hmmm, well, I guess we’ll see,” I thought to myself. I left there contemplating on my hour ride home, “should I ask him on a second date? Do I wait for him to call me? Is this a ‘one and done’? did he not feel any spark?” All the normal things a girl thinks when she starts to jump off the cliff of curiosity and sink herself into a rabbit hole.

I think it was either that night or the next day that I heard from him again (YAY!). He wanted to have a second date, and since I had driven so far, he was willing to come see me in Hilo. So we had our second date spending the day at Carlsmith beach (one of my favs) and I think we went out to dinner, though I don’t remember where. It might have been Kaleo’s in Pahoa. It went well. We were more comfortable with each other, and laughing and joking and over all enjoying each other’s company.

Funny addition to our second date- I told Nick he could stay at our apartment that night instead of driving home, but he had to crash on the couch! He believed me right up until I was walking to my bedroom, and literally said “you know I was kidding, right?” He was such a gentleman, he never made a single move, he even kept all his clothes on (literally, everything, except his shoes). I was now really confused. What man in their 30s goes to a woman’s house, is told he can sleep over, and then sleeps in all of his clothing and doesn’t try any funny business?? Although I was getting mixed signals, I was quite impressed that he was such a gentleman and didn’t want to make me feel even the slightest bit uncomfortable.

Our third date tops the charts. Nick borrowed his roommates truck, and piled everything we could in the back and hit the beach. We also had Brooke, Alisha and Elise in with us. A couple friends also met us at the beach and we spent the day soaking up the sun and drinking and sharing stories and laughs. We ran back to Nick’s place to shower and change, and we were off to the mountain. We were driving up Mauna Kea, the tallest mountain in the USA from sea level at a whopping 14,000 feet. Just to give you an idea- the mountain peak is up so high that you have to drive an hour, and stop at the visitors center just to acclimate your body to the lack of oxygen. In these moments, as we were driving up the mountain to catch sunset, chatting and trying to hold on and not drive off a cliff, I knew this was going somewhere. Sitting on top of that mountain, and looking out towards the ocean, feeling like you could see the entire earth, I knew then that something just felt right. I was where I was supposed to be- with my amazing friends and a great man and that I was going to be ok. It’s hard to explain, but its like something spiritual took over and I just finally felt some peace and certainty with the way my life was going.

Nick even came home with me this past December for my sister’s wedding (which was beautiful, btw) and met my entire crazy family. He fit right in of course, ha ha!!

So that was where it all started. Nick and I have an amazing connection and a great partnership. He has been more than supportive with letting me continue my dream of being travel nurse. He has dealt with my hesitancies and insecurities and showed me that there are still amazing men out there. He has brought to light my ability to love again and for all of that I am so grateful. We have had one of the most adventurous starts to a relationship that I have ever heard of (I mean, how many people can say they fall in love in paradise?!), and I hope that we continue this amazing adventure together for a very, very long time. Nick, I love you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us! xoxox

Hello faithful followers and new followers, too! I have been gone far too long! Let me explain…

I was in Hawaii for the past nine months (we’ll talk about that later), and I was using my kindle fire tablet with a bluetooth keyboard to blog. This was a pain in the butt, but I managed to make it work- until my keyboard S*** the bed, and I was left with a touch screen. I had all these great posts I thought I had saved as draft files (I did not) and I LOST THEM ALL (insert hysterical cry emoji here). I had all intentions of buying a new bluetooth keyboard, or tablet or even a computer, but I was too busy living my life to the fullest in Hawaii that it was not a priority for me at the time. Although, I wish I had kept a better journal of my exploration and life out there- because, guys, it was AMAZING!!!!

So, fast forward to the present, I am in California (again, but SoCal vs. Bay Area) and I finally lit a fire up under my own behind and bought a computer, so here I am!

I am hoping to make this blog bigger and better! I now know how to add photos and change text and fonts and colors, so I am hoping it will look prettier too. Can you tell I am excited? I’m using a lot of exclamation points!

I find that I am always asking myself the following questions:

 How do I know when I’m ready to move on?  Why can’t I just move on without constantly being reminded of what I’ve left behind? 

How do I know I am not ok doing what I am doing and need to try something new? 

When will be the right time for me? 

Why is my path so different from the rest? 

I think that the answers are simple, yet complicated.Simple because the answers were right in front of me. Complicated because I really had to have this journey of personal discovery to figure them out. I wasn’t going to hear it from someone else just telling me, although I thank everyone who tried.

I am ready to move on when I feel like it. When something (or someone) comes around and gets me feeling like “yeah, okay, this could be good.” If something feels right, roll with it- don’t try and fight it. If it doesn’t, then slam on the brakes and go in a different direction. 

Sometimes being reminded of your past is shitty (theres a reason it’s in the PAST). I look at the reminders of my past as a reminder of my journey. It is a reminder of my strength and my determination and my motivation. It reminds me of where I was and how I NEVER want to go back to that. I have become a better person because of my past. For those reminders, I am grateful.

At many points throughout life, we get complacent and feel like there’s a need for change. There’s no magic fairy godmother who comes around and sprinkles fairydust saying “get your shit together, you’ve been on this hamster wheel for 10 years now!” You just know that its time. You feel it in the gut. What makes the difference between happy people and unhappy people is that the happy people will do something about it! They will seek out whatever change they are looking for (therefore making them feel fulfilled and happy), meanwhile unhappy people will remain on this hamster wheel and go round and round until they either puke or break a leg and are forced to get off the ride (hence, unhappy). They do this because its EASY, its comfortable to just keep going and it feels safe.  Then, they too at some point will have a revelation that change is good, and necessary in order to go on with life. We are all guilty of staying stagnant at some point in our lives, and remembering those times can sometimes feel like a a sucker punch where you ask yourself, “what the hell was I thinking?”  and feel like time was wasted, but don’t dwell on that, trust me! It gets you nowhere except for down at the bottom of a deep dark rabit hole. 

As far as it being the right time to make that change, the truth is there is no RIGHT time, or good time. You are no more successful if you start on the first of a month which just so happens to fall on a Monday versus starting on the 16th of the month falling on a Wednesday. You just know when it’s right for you. If you waited for the storm to pass, you’d miss the opportunity to dance in the rain. So throw on your golashes and grab an umbrella and get out there! 

I really struggled after my divorce with timelines and meeting my own (and society’s) expectations-married by 26, kids by 28, master’s degree by 32 and on and on. I thought my life was over and I couldn’t possibly start over at 29.  Then, one day I realized I was given a blessing. I could do things on MY TIME. I came to realize how many people live life unhappy because they followed their assumed timelines and now wish they could go back and do things differently. I believe things happen for a reason, and I was given this situation so that I could live my life on my terms and realize that it’s not all about social status, or marital status, or if you have 1 kid or 12 by the time you’re 30. You cannot let other people or society dictate what is going to make you happy. What’s good for the gander is not always what’s good for the goose. Life is about figuring out what you want and going after it- THAT is where you will find your happiness. 

One thing that drives me absolutely bananas is when someone says to me “My wife (or husband, or boyfriend or girlfriend) would never let me do that”.

Wait, what? You have to ask permission from your S.O to do something that you would like to do or want to do? ummm, no. First of all, you’re an adult, and no one has to give you permission for anything. Secondly, as that S.O when your person comes to you with a goal or a plan why would you want to stop them? Unless that person tells you they want to jump off a bridge or throw someone over the side of the grand canyon, you should be there for them as their partner, not trying to crush their hopes.

For the record, I am not saying to just go ahead and do whatever it is you want. You should have some discussion with your partner, but that discussion should not feel like asking for PERMISSION those are two very different things. 

Now, with that being said, I am about as “Type A” as you can get. So I would never approach a partner with a crazy idea (such as becoming a gypsy and traveling the country to work) without some sort of preliminary plan. Something tangibile that they could process and see how it could work. Then the two parties involved could brainstorm and make it a final draft to execute said plan. 

I have learned that you can’t (or shouldn’t) hold anyone back from their dreams. They just end up always wondering and may even resent you. I have also learned that sometimes, in order to carry out your goal, sometimes you have to let somethings (or someone) go. In most cases, that’s probably a good thing. In a small amount of cases, sometimes that letting go hurts like hell. Especially when you feel like the rest of the world has moved on and you are still trying to figure things out.

 People always ask me, “why do you travel alone, don’t you want someone to explore with you ?”  This question also kind of drives me bananas because, quite frankly it’s none of your damn business. But, I have manners and understand most people are well-meaning when they ask. The answer to this is yes, and no. 

Yes because it would be amazing to have a travel buddy to share all of these wonderful places with. Yes because I would have someone other than Siri to talk to somedays, to drag my ass off the couch when I’ve only slept 3 hours in the last two days, or to help with packing and moving every 13 weeks. 

No because unless you are a fellow travel nurse or have a job you can work from home, it is virtually imposible to live this lifestyle and its not fair of me to ask someone to give up their lifestyle. No because I want to make my own decisions about my destination, or anything really. No because I have become accustomed to doing things for myself and by myself (finally). Lastly, no because I dont want to let go again. It is safer to not have someone than to deal with the regret later. 

 I believe everyone should have someone. Even after being divorced, I still believe that. I also believe that everyone is different and the level to which you attach to that person depends on you (and the other person too, I suppose). Some people make better BFFs, some people make better life partners, some people are better travel buddies, some are the total package, some are just good lovers. You get the idea. Just because you have a life long BFF, for example, doesn’t mean that your life was unfufilled because you didnt’t get married and have 2.5 children and a white picket fence. The important thing is that what ever the level of attachment – it must be mututal or else its not going to work. 

In the world of polyamory, there is open communication and mutual agreements amongst all parties so that no one is left out or feeling unhappy. Why shouldn’t the same be true in monogomy?

Because people are afraid, that’s why. Afraid of loving, afraid of rejection, afraid of missing out, afraid of letting go. 

I get it because I’m there too, but that doesn’t stop me from trying, from living. I go out, enjoy the places I go, and meet people. Sometimes it turns out great, and other times it doesn’t. I am working on that part; realizing that not everything in life is going to be ok. Most things in life are not a fairytale. That is not going to stop me from hoping.  

So, the answer to the original question is this: If anyone is going to become my person, they are going to have to fit into this life I have made for myself- the life that makes me happy. They will have to somehow enhance that, or its not worth it. If I found someone who enjoys traveling like me (bonus points if they travel for work, and/or work night shift), lets me pick the places to which we were going to travel (or at least discusses the options with me), and has a mutual respect for my level of independence, and doesn’t hold me back when I have some crazy dream or idea, then I may consider making that person MY person. Until then, I am going to keep doing what I do. 

Hawaii life is amazing! Hilo is like a little rainforest jungle nestled in the heart of paradise. It rains almost every day, but the frequent sunshine and the warmth makes up for that, to the point where you almost forget about it. There is plenty to do and places to check out. For those of you concerned about the volcano, Hilo is not in imminent danger. The lava flows are going south of here. The Vog and air pollutants are going West due to trade winds. Occasionally you can smell sulfur if the trade winds change.There have been a few small earth quakes, which is an interesting experience. Most of them are so small, you just think that you’ve lost your balance before you realize what it is. 

My apartment is great and my roomate is cool, too. We get along very well and enjoy each others company. It is nice to have someone else around to chat with and do things with. 

The hospital I am at is still taking some getting used to. Its like walking into a time warp. Most of the charts are paper (so annoying) and the practices are definitely old school, but that doesn’t necessarilly mean that they are wrong. The doctors come in wearing flip flops and dropping “f bombs” like truck drivers. The staff is like a small family. At the beginning of shift they all hug and kiss and say hello. They all hug and kiss the staff that are finishing their shifts and going home. It’s a very welcoming, warm feeling. Some things they do or say don’t make sense to me, but they appreciate me asking about their language and their culture so that we can undertand each other. They get a kick out of every time I say just about anything because my “Boston” comes out. 

My personal journey is actually pretty great (if you consider a roller coaster ride where you constantly want to puke to be great). I have been doing really well and enjoying all of my free time exploring the island, working out, going to the beach, writing, even meeting new people (some pretty great people). 

I still have moments where I am triggered, reminded about my past and the life I left behind. Moments where I want to throat punch a particular person and just walk away. The truth is that no one knows the truth, except the people involved. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors and when everyone else looks at YOUR situation through rose colored glasses, then it’s easy for them to make judgement calls, or to pass blame or to think they know.When you only have some pieces to the puzzle it is impossible to create a whole picture. 

Anyway, enough of the sappy boring crap. The reason I’m writing all this above is because I believe that people today are not allowed to feel like shit. According to societies standards, we always have to have the best of everything, or look perfect. On social media, everyone’s life looks happy and fulfilled. No one ever talks about the bad. The truth is, life is not all about beauty and greatness and happiness. Most of it is filled with straight shit: crisis, and stress, and hardships and struggles. What makes a person remarkable is how they decide to deal with their shit. Do they flush it, or jump in the bowl and swim with it? 

I used to be the one to jump in the bowl and swim until my skin stained brown (hypothetically of course). I would dwell on the negative until it consumed me, drawing me into a deep hole.

 I am working on a process for flushing it. First step- acknowledge the shit. Know it’s there, smell it, face it. Let your brain feel whatever comes- anger, disgust, sadness, nausea. Then, find a way to clear your head. For some that means working out, listening to music, praying. For others it may be to just withdraw and have a god cry. Thats ok too. Lastly, you put that shit back in the toilet, flush it down, wash your hands and walk away. MOVE ON! Don’t let it consume you. Don’t let it define you. 

So here’s to the future! Here’s to moving on! Here’s to true FREEDOM!

I FINALLY got a keyboard for my tablet, which makes blogging much easier! I am loving the California lifestyle, guys. It is so laid back, but who wouldn`t want to be nice when it is sunny and warm 90% of the time?

 My current hospital is nice but I think I need something a little bit more for my next assignment. Yet another perk of traveling- you need something more, just pick up the pace with your next assignment. You need to take a step back, you can do that too. You want to take a month off and explore Europe, you can do that too. I am in the driver’s seat of my life now, not my parents (sorry mom & dad), not a husband or significant other, not a boss, not some corporation.

 I have seen so many different cultures and practices and mindsets in the last few months, its amazing to think about what I have yet to see. I feel like being back home and staying there left me inside of a metaphorical “ignorance bubble” as I endearingly call it. Meaning I only saw what I saw and practiced the way I did simply just because that’s where my life and my experience had taken me up to that point. That doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad nurse, by any means. But just think about what happens when you take a small town girl and put her in a major city, or another small town on the other side of the country, to open her eyes to all the possibility! Amazing things happen! It seems cliche, but there truly is a big world out there and so many different viewpoints and ways of practice and ways of life. The greatest thing is that none of them (well, almost none, with the exception of criminals, terrorists and the like) are wrong! By observing, learning and truly being interested I have created a better, more accepting version of myself. 

I haven’t blogged in a long time a) because I was waiting for this keyboard because touchscreen was driving me crazy and b) I have been capitalizing on my time here in the bay area. I plan out all of my days off to do some level of exploration, which totally pays off and improvise with what’s left. I’m sure most of you follow me on instagram or facebook and have seen my pictures and posts about my adventures. Eventually, I will figure out how to get some of those photos here on my blog so it will be more esthetically pleasing. 

I have been doing so well- mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I feel like I am the best version of myself that I have ever been. I am comfortable in my career, in my life, in my physical being. Not comfortable to the point of complacency, but comfortable in the sense of happiness and completeness. Maybe it’s because of this journey, maybe it’s because I’m getting old (haha) and almost turning 30 so I have come to terms with who I am. Whatever the reason, this level of acceptance and appreciation is such a great feeling. Two years ago, if you told me this was where I was going to be, I would have laughed in your face and then turned around and cried because I would have thought you were lying (which did happen for real with my therapist.She was right all along…go figure). 

I can’t explain it and maybe I dont’t want to, but I’m going to take it and run with it. 

Well, I think thats enough of my flight of thoughts for today. Now that I have this keyboard, I plan to use it often, so stay tuned!!